Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
i guess its another case of the mahana you ugly syndrome.......
i guess its another case of the mahana you ugly syndrome.......it makes me happy when my friends get engaged... but at the same time I'm sad I'm still here.... 25 years old and i guess I'm not learning or picking up what HF wants me to.... i know i haven't exactly lived up to my potential... but i want to so bad.... i want things to change... to be different... i want to love my life like other people get to.... the moments i experience the taste of that are rare... but i do wish so badly that they were more often... i grown up my life never quite feeling good enough.... always wondering why other people got the things i wanted... why man never really cared for me... i guess i did get a chance once with a really good guy but i took it for granted.... and maybe I'm still doing it... maybe I'm still taking the good things for granted...i always wonder how things would have turned out had i just seen this kid for what he was.... i think that's why i like the story of persuasion so much... cause they had their chance... she blew it but they still ended up together... although in this case I'm sure its not how the story will turn out... most of the time I'm OK with being single.... i have great guy friends and some female too.... but sometimes in the quiet confines of my home the loneliness hits me... and i also realize the clock is ticking... 30 is around the corner and there's nothing i can do about it.... man i hope i don't end up alone.... even if i do have issues with commitment and pushing people away.... life's full of unreliable people.... one just has to get over it... and lets be real here i just feel gross....
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Freedom!!
Today was pretty grand.... last night amber Crissy and Cinda were talking about going to music and the spoken word and they invited me.... it was the best thing I've done in a while... they're always
doing fun things together!... it was super amazing.... my favorite part i think was when we got to clap for them for like 5 minutes.... then they sang god be with you til we meet again.... it felt like they meant every word..... they did such a great job!! the spirit was really strong.... it meant more to me because one of the ladies i work with(Bonnie) sings in the choir... i love when she sings along at work... i really needed that experience and I'm grateful for it... after that we went to amber's singles ward in Lehi.... it was nice change.... Sunday school was about raising children the right way and them always being able to come back....one guy compared children to a bullet... you aim it and shoot it and different things like the wind can affect it but it'll more or less hit where you aim it...RS and EQ was combined... the lesson was a reminder that there needs to be moderation in all things.... it made me realize how many addictive things there are today... its not just booze and ciggies... there's tons of different kinds of drugs and even the Internet can be addictive..... a girl that was addicted to WOW (world of war craft) talked to us... she's been "clean" for 3 months.... I wish i would of gotten to see some of these live.... one day i hope to go to mnt rushmore to see them there!!!
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Happy 3rd Of July!!!
then went out to lunch with beaner... we went and got pupusas... mmmm.... after that we went to a mexican store to get candy... it was candy heaven!! except the pelon pelo ricos i bought tasted old... :(
after that i went took a nap and then got an ice cream at sonic then i went to karate kid with amber... we wanted to go see fireworks but they ended before we got there... so we went to denny's... all in all a pretty sweet weekend...