...That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist...

Sometimes it certainly can feel that way...I cant even remember what it is that I'm looking for... maybe its a good idea to write it down... like a shopping list... one of the things that keeps coming up is courage/the feeling of safety ie a protector... and confidence... confidence is super important...I want him to be smooth but sincere...and funny... rally funny... and thoughtful... not super cheesy... and i think thats all i have to say about it...