Really?... REALLY?!

Random rantings and commentings...

Monday, May 17, 2010

"Let's Be Real Here..."

I had a talk with my mom today... she's stressed out about me... she worries too much about what I do and don't do(I think it's starting to take a bit of a toll on her...oops my bad!) and shes concerned about my weight/health and afraid I'll end up alone forever... thing is I'm not as afraid of that as I used to be... sure its a little frustrating to think that I might be judge right off that bat... that I probably wont have a fighting chance... but at the same time I think I will... It's not like I have a crappy personality... I'm just a little feisty is all... some how even though things kinda suck right now... I know they aren't going to stay this way... To Be honest they aren't that bad... I boyfriend would be nice for company and a little assurance... but it wont be a fix all... I'll still have to face myself... my worst critic(we haven't been friends for a long time but I'm working on befriending her)...I'm working on fixing all of it... I mean REALLY FIXING it... I don't want my crap to carry on into any relationship I might have down that road... I rather wait 'til I'm 75 for my man than to marry whoever asks first just because marriage is the next expected step... I want to have the joy I've longed for and been searching for for a really long time... whats 50 years compared to eternity... true and real love is worth waiting for...


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